Babe: Jennifer
Recipe: Cheeseburger Pie and Peanut Butter Cup Cookies
How It Works: Cooking a meal that will make a woman forget that under normal circumstances, she would never even think of sleeping with you

The ingredients for this awesome recipe are ground sirloin, frozen french fries, cheddar cheese, a roll of frozen sugar cookie dough, peanut butter, chocolate frosting in a can and the key ingredient…Riesling. By now you probably know Riesling is vital, but reinforcement is the key ingredient to a good success rate and these recipes are all about success.

I met Jennifer in a bookstore. I know, it’s so cliché, but she was doing a reading of her book “Sugar and Spice and Girls who Aren’t Nice,” and she was hot. I sat down and listened to her talk and I could tell this was a book I needed to have. Her theory on attraction was riveting and compelling.

Here’s how it goes, depending on a scale of how attractive you are, you can behave in certain ways. For example, if you’re a 5, you have to know your limits and act accordingly. But if you want a girl or guy who’s a 10 or who thinks he or she’s a 10, you’re going to have to risk being rejected and make believe he or she needs to be with you because of what you can provide…it can be sex, money, relationships or your job.

As you move up the number ladder you’re allowed to behave in more traditional ways. So a 7 man who wants to be with a 10 woman must realize that unless he’s offering her something, she’s probably not interested in him. He doesn’t have to offer much, just as long as he behaves himself and isn’t a total asshole, he has a shot. I guess that’s what Jennifer’s book was all about.

If you know who and what you are, you can find a partner that matches your needs and how you view yourself. Quite fucking ingenious, I say. The book gives you a total breakdown of how to figure out what number you are and also guidelines to constantly grade yourself. No one is lower than a 5, there’s always something that’s attractive to another potential mate, like having pretty hair, eyes, lips, body, and of course guys always want VAGINA. Eventually, you will match up with the perfect person and you can be together forever because you made a choice based on information and not just chemistry, which ultimately fades.

We know the pheromones go away after about 2 years and that’s why the sex usually becomes lame and boring. You have nothing in common and now the chemical reason to be with that person is also gone and you break up, only to realize how much time you’ve wasted on some pain in the ass.

Enough about Jennifer’s book though. Let’s get down to business. Who cares that 5’s can bang 10’s. What we care about is getting a girl over to your place, cooking for her, and getting down to business.

Jennifer agreed to come over to my place as part of an experiment. She believed she was 10 and I was pushing a 7 on a good day, according to her scale. I always thought I was an 8, but I guess 1 is really the loneliest number. I like to work hard, and I was betting on myself. Maybe once she ate my delicious dinner, she would upgrade my number, and upgrades happen when you make someone have a revelation…like when you drop a ton of weight, get plastic surgery, become famous, inherit lots of money, or in my lame, pathetic case (since none of the above applies), cook a fantastic, yet easy meal. I was planning on going up a few digits, but, if I got sex I don’t care why she decided to come over in the first place.

Needless to say, Jennifer and I had a great night and if I do say so myself, I’m proud to admit, you’re reading the book of a solid 8 and with each book I sell, a potential 10 !