Do you remember that Matthew McConaughey movie from 2005 called “Sahara”? If so, you’re one of the few. It kinda tanked at the box office.

But that’s not the story here.

What I’m here to talk about are the reports flying out of the L.A. Times about the ridiculous expenditures demanded by the film’s stars.

We all know that celebrities can be a little needy sometimes. And we know that film studios will shell out big bucks just to keep their stars happy. Well, take a look at just HOW happy McConaughey and co-star Penelope Cruz were:

Glenn Bunting, of the Times, reports that Matt apparently needed a personal trainer and his own chef on the set with him. The glorified aerobics instructor cost a whopping $67, 977. And the person who made his snacks? Nearly 49 G’s! Those are some pretty expensive tuna sandwiches, huh?

But we haven’t even got to Penelope Cruz yet. She required a hairstylist and a dialogue coach. The hairdresser’s bill came to a ridiculous $135,550!! Unbelievable, right? But wait. The dialogue coach was nearly $126,000 himself. Seriously, this is beyond shameful. What does a dialogue coach even do? Coach dialogue? What the hell does that mean? This is so stupid!

What is really terrible about the whole sordid affair is that every time we go out to the theater and drop $20 or $30 bucks on a ticket, popcorn and a soda, we are funding this type of ridiculous pampering for these entertainers. It’s one thing to get burned when you have to sit through a crummy movie. That’s unfortunate, but is going to happen. However, when you know that a piece of that money went so that McConaughey’s abs can look that much better and Penelope’s dialogue can be said that much clearer (or something?), it can really make a person not want to go to see these entertainers anymore.

But the sad truth is that they aren’t the only ones. This type of thing is rampant and it is everywhere.

Well, I say it’s time for a revolution. Give me my money back. Or, at the very least, a few of those tuna sandwiches.