A word of warning to you girls out there: Be wary of any guy who uses coupons on a first date. He’s likely a real douchebag.

Picture it: You are out for the first time with this nice looking guy you really like. He picks you up at your house in his mom’s 83 Honda and you cruise around town for a while tapping your toes to Megadeath’s greatest hits. Just a few minutes into the B-side of the cassette, you pull into the restaurant where you’ll be dining. Ah, he has chosen Burger King.

He exits the vehicle and walks around your side to open the door for you. Due to years of rust and a mild fender bender last year, the door not only sticks a bit, but also makes a loud creaking noise as it opens. Still, he takes your hand and helps you out of the car while you think about what a true gentleman he is. He tries to close the door, but it doesn’t shut all the way. He bumps into in with his hip and it is now shut. It is all very romantic, right?

But wait.

Once inside, you walk together up to the counter where he informs you that you must order the 4 piece Chicken Tenders and fries meal. He has a coupon. “Buy one 4 piece Chicken Tenders and Get the Second Free.” But you had your mind set on the Whopper Jr. It seems he didn’t pick up enough hours last week at the Waffle House and he is a little short on dough. This just isn’t turning out like you had hoped.

Face it, ladies, this relationship is doomed from the start. Dinners with this guy will always be a similarly disappointing experience. Think about your future. Always having to order the same dinner because he has a coupon. There’s never enough money. Five years later he’s still washing dishes at the Waffle House and their repeated promise to “make him a manager someday” just isn’t coming to fruition. Oh, I’ve seen a hundred times!

Now, Is this really what you want? Think even further down the road. Every time you go out to eat you have to steal napkins, Sweet and Low and ketchup packets off the table to take home because you never have any of your own. Think about your kids! Do you really want them to grow up in a home using ketchup that says “McDonald’s” on the side? Do ya? Huh? Huh?

No. Of course you don’t sweetheart. No girl wants that. And you don’t have to accept it. There’s a very simple solution, see? Don’t walk….RUN away from any guy who uses a coupon on a first date. I can tell ya, without a doubt it my mind, he’s only gonna turn out to be a douchebag.